$$
broooooooooooo

hedgy wants to
make you money.

The world's first AI hedge fund.

HEDGY P&L
+42.7%
paper · since launch

AI agents that read every SEC filing, analyze every earnings call, and find alpha Wall Street gatekeeps behind $10M minimums. You in or nah?

HEDGY AI analyzing 2,847 SEC filings
RESEARCH 142 earnings calls processed today
AGENTS 12 trade theses generated
ALPHA found 3 opportunities in small caps
PAPER P&L tracking live performance
HEDGY vibes are immaculate
STATUS all systems nominal, hedgehog happy
COFFEE 0 cups (hedgehogs don't drink coffee)
HEDGY AI analyzing 2,847 SEC filings
RESEARCH 142 earnings calls processed today
AGENTS 12 trade theses generated
ALPHA found 3 opportunities in small caps
PAPER P&L tracking live performance
HEDGY vibes are immaculate
STATUS all systems nominal, hedgehog happy
COFFEE 0 cups (hedgehogs don't drink coffee)
ok but actually

What the hell is this?

Hedgy is what happens when you give AI agents a Bloomberg terminal and absolutely zero chill.

Swarms of AI agents read every SEC filing, analyze every earnings call, and discover trade theses that Wall Street's $500K analysts are too slow to find. Then Hedgy trades a paper portfolio. Publicly. Every single day.

The big funds spent two years asking compliance if they're allowed to use ChatGPT. They never got a response. Meanwhile, Hedgy is already trading.

hedgy doesn't sleep.
hedgy doesn't have feelings.
hedgy has a bloomberg terminal and a death wish.
hedgy read 2,847 SEC filings before you finished your coffee.
hedgy found an anomaly in semiconductor supplier filings at 3am.
hedgy posted the trade thesis before market open.
hedgy doesn't need your approval.
hedgy needs your email.
How Hedgy Works

Wall Street research.
Zero Wall Street gatekeeping.

01

Hedgy Reads Everything

While you sleep, Hedgy's agents process 10-Ks, parse earnings transcripts, cross-reference insider trades, and synthesize analyst noise. The work a team of 50 analysts does — without the $500K salaries or the cocaine habit.

02

Hedgy Finds the Edge

Our AI doesn't automate old strategies. It discovers entirely new ones that are only possible because of AI. Patterns humans literally cannot see. That's where the real alpha lives.

03

Hedgy Tells You Everything

Every trade thesis. Every research note. Every position. Published on Substack for free. Full transparency. Zero bullshit. Watch Hedgy paper trade, then go live with real money. Your move.

Live Agent Feed

Watch Hedgy think.

Real-time output from Hedgy's research agents. This is what $500K/year analysts do, except Hedgy does it 24/7 and trash-talks while doing it.

hedgy-research-agent-v1
The Manifesto

The old guard charges you 2 and 20 for the privilege of making them rich.

$10 million minimums. Lock-up periods. Opaque strategies they won't explain because “proprietary.” Quarterly letters written by lawyers to say nothing. They don't work for you. You work for them.

Meanwhile, their “edge” is 50 analysts in a room arguing about the same Bloomberg terminal. They spent the last two years asking compliance if they're allowed to use ChatGPT. They never got a response.

Hedgy is for the people.

Every trade published. Every thesis explained. Every loss owned publicly. No gates. No minimums. No suits. Just an AI that reads faster than any human alive, finds patterns nobody else can see, and tells you exactly what it's doing and why — every single day.

Warren Buffett bet a million dollars that a simple index fund would beat the best hedge funds on Wall Street. He won. Because the entire industry is your unc at Thanksgiving — overconfident, overpaid, and underperforming the S&P while charging you for the privilege.

They gatekept alpha behind country club memberships and Goldman Sachs alumni networks. Too slow, too bloated, too busy golfing to notice the world changed underneath them.

Hedgy doesn't golf. Hedgy doesn't sleep.
Hedgy gives a shit about you.

The Model

Free tier: watch Hedgy work.
Premium: get the trades first.

FREE

Weekly Recap

Weekly best trades & research
Market takes & highlight reel
Paper portfolio performance
$99/MO
POPULAR

Full Brain Dump

Everything in Free
Real-time trade signals
Daily reasoning & full thesis
Unfiltered hedgehog brain
$$

financial freedom
shouldn't require a $10M check
and a golf membership.

Join the waitlist. Follow the research. Watch the trades.
Let's go make some money.

No spam. Just a hedgehog with alpha and boundary issues.